skinnydude56's Xanga

THANKS FOR THE COMMENT

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 06:17:50 GMT

Finally, someone commented on my posts. I put my thoughts on the web to hear your comments. Thank you so much for your comment.

As I said in an earlier post, I have just been introduced to Evolution this semester. I learn a little more about it every day. I am definitely not an authority. The point was made that Evolution’s explanation of the original formation of the cell is ridiculous. Truthfully, I cannot disagree because I do not know much about it. However, I will say that Evolution is simply an inference made from the evidence we have found. I do not know how the first cell was formed but as we look back in time, we see that organisms are less and less complex. The logical conclusion is that at some point life must have begun as a cell. I don’t know how this cell was formed. I’m okay with that.

The comment was made that evolution is a state-sponsored religion. I have to disagree, because religion is based on faith. There is no testable evidence behind it. Evolution is not based on faith. It is a concept formed from observing the earth. We look at the evidence we have and make logical conclusions. Religion is not so.

The point was made that there are parts of the body which could not have evolved because they are useless when not in their present stage. Name one.

The Precambrian explosion was mentioned. From what I have been told of this, it was a period of rapid development. But evolutionarily speaking, rapid development could be fifty million years. Calling it an explosion is misleading unless you understand the evolutionary time line. The earth is estimated to be 4.7 billion years old. So, yes relative to that amount of time, the phyla did evolve quickly.

Once again my state was interpreted differently than I meant it. In my last post I mentioned female genital mutilation. I asked the question “where is god?” I did not say this proves there is no god. But in all honesty can you really tell me that is part of god’s plan? If this is true, god must have a horrible plan. Again, the comment was made that bad things happen to teach us a lesson and again I say this is incredibly egotistical. You are telling me a human being’s life was ruined so you could learn some stupid life lesson? Where is your compassion? Where is your love? These atrocities should make you angry. That’s love. You should care enough for others to recognize their situation and realize that maybe god is not doing his part. If all the evil in this world is part of god’s plan, he had better have an amazing explanation for all this. I cannot imagine what he could say or do to make up for this.

Satan. I hate when Satan is brought up. The idea of Satan takes the blame off of humans. People do bad things. Satan does not rape or cause cancer. Life is horror. Life is pain and humans only add to that pain. The myth of Satan allows Christians to feel better when they cause pain. Satan is a scapegoat.

Thanks for the comment. Comments are the only reason I’m writing. I look forward to hearing more.

WHY?

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 19:47:16 GMT

I just read an online article about Female genital mutilation. I have never heard of this practice before. If you don’t know what it is, look at the name. I’m not going to explain exactly what it is, but it is basically done so that women cannot feel pleasure during intercourse.

I don’t know what to say. I’m so pissed off I can barely see. Where is God?

PERCEPTION IS REALITY

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 00:46:40 GMT

Do we all think the same? The question has often been asked if everyone sees the same color. When two people see blue, do they both see blue or does one see blue and the other see orange? Do they have the same word for two different colors? Apply this to everything. My favorite color is pink. Your favorite color is aqua. Could it be that my pink is the same as your aqua? Do we see the same color but have different names for it? You and I find different female faces attractive. Could it be that we each see the same attractive face on two different women and our brains interpret the image differently? If our eyes lied we could feel the faces to really see what they look like. However, it is not our eyes deceiving us. It is our minds. Our minds interpret the signals our sense organs send it. For whatever reason, if our minds interpret these signals differently, we may perceive the world differently. Could this be true? I doubt it. If this were the case, we would have noticed by now.

What about schizophrenics? They hear voices. To them, these voices are real. Of course, we know they are delusional. We know they have a disorder and are hearing sounds which are not real. But, what is real? The world in which I live may be very different from your world. On a purely psychological level, if I perceive all mankind to be evil and capable of no good and you perceive mankind to be totally altruistic, who is right? There are both, what we call good and evil people in the world. We each see the same world but interpret it differently. That is simple enough. What about the physical world, the tangible world? Could we see the same things, but interpret them differently? Perhaps you and I live in very different, coexisting worlds. This might explain why our opinions are so different. If we saw the world in the same way, our opinions might be the same. Who is right? What is real? Does it have any bearing on the way in which we conduct our lives?

I do not know if we all see the same. When god or an alien talks to a schizophrenic, I do not know if what they hear is real or not. “The lord works in mysterious ways.” No one can know for sure. It does not affect my everyday life. However, in some ways it does affect me. I have come to understand that I live in two different worlds. I do not know if you are the same. I live in the everyday world where I wake up, go to school, go to work and go to sleep. This is the world of physical pain and interaction with others. This world has rules and limits. There is another world I spend much time in. This is the world in my thoughts. In this place whether or not schizophrenics hear the truth or delusions does matter. It matters because I find it interesting. I think about it, therefore it matters, because thought is all this world is made of. If I were to never to lose myself in thought again, I would never visit this world again. I am not talking about some mystical land of unicorns and fairies. I am talking about the world we only visit when we leave the physical world, whether it be to recall a lost memory or to imagine the future. You might say I speak of the real world and the fantasy world. I cannot agree to call the world of thought fantasy. How do you know what is real? Perception is reality.

DARWIN KILLED GOD

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 01:40:26 GMT

This semester I am enrolled in Principles of Biology 2. Principles of Biology is the required, two semester basic biology course for Bio majors. It’s general biology on steroids. I really struggled through the first semester. I didn’t like my teacher, I had just started working at a job that I instantly hated and the material was more dense than any course I’d taken before. There were several reasons I had trouble last semester. This semester we began learning about evolution. When I first heard that we would be studying evolution, I was doubtful about its relevance and accuracy. I was sure my teacher would walk into the classroom, tear religion to pieces and give us his own version of the way the world began.

I had always thought of evolution as being the scientific opposite of creationism. I thought a few liberal scientists did want to believe in any higher power because that would mean they would have to worship him and live by a code. I thought their egos were too big and would not allow them to believe in any being that was smarter or stronger than them. I thought this, because this is what I was raised (more like brainwashed) to believe. I had never been taught evolution by my parents, school or church. I sincerely believe my Jr. and Sr. school education greatly suffered because I live in the Bible belt. I blame Christianity for my previous absence of knowledge concerning the concept of evolution.

As I said I was doubtful about being taught evolution. I assumed I already knew all there is to know. I thought evolution meant we came from monkeys. I know I am not a monkey. So, this cannot be right. Monkeys aren’t even conscious of their own existence. They don’t wonder why they are here. Only humans do. Humans have souls and this makes them completely different from animals. Monkeys don’t have souls.

The first day of class my teacher walked in and changed my life. He talked about Darwin and previous ideas of the world’s age. He talked about all the hundreds of fossils that are evidence of evolution. He talked about how we can watch viruses evolve. He never mentioned evolution in regards to religion. He never tried to be nice and say this shouldn’t affect your beliefs about god. He was all business from start to finish. He never talked about his own beliefs about god or religion or the origin of the earth. He presented the facts and drew conclusions from them.

At first it didn’t occur to me what had happened. But as the weeks came and went and I learned more and more, I slowly realized how simple everything is. I had expected my instructor to give me his beliefs on evolution, but evolution is not a belief. It is not a persons feeling from personal experiences or because of all the evil in the world. It is not what you feel like religion. Evolution does not make outrageous claims without evidence to support them. Evolution demonstrates scientific observation at its highest state. Evolution is the product of observing nature and analyzing fossils. Darwin looked at nature and saw that species cannot be fixed and he realized that natural selection is the method by which they change. Darwin did not come up with the idea of evolution. What he did was come up with an idea of how evolution could happen, an idea that is still used today.

I don’t want to explain evolutionary theory here, perhaps some other time. My purpose in writing this is to give you my own personal experience of a lack of scientific information being taught in a deeply religious community. I feel cheated. I cannot believe I lived for eighteen years without knowing how humans came into existence. I am very bitter towards our school system because of their stupidity. They have allowed their personal beliefs to blind them from scientific fact. Yes, evolution is scientific fact. It is referred to as the theory of evolution because truthfully nothing in science can be proven 100 percent true. This is because we are always learning and never know what we will discover. Calling evolution a theory is a formality. It is a theory that the earth revolves around the sun. Science cannot prove without a doubt that the earth revolves around the sun. We know it happens just like we know evolution happens and we have an excess of evidence to support both. However, they are both still said to be theories.

“Nothing in Biology Makes Sense Except in the Light of Evolution,” is a quote from Theodosius Dobzhansky. This is the truth. Evolution explains the world around us. Without it, we would be lost. We would not be able to understand our world or our own bodies. Evolution should not be introduced to students in their freshman year of college. It should be taught as soon as children are capable of understanding it. It should be taught as the way the world works. All other biology is understood through evolution. So, to not teach it is to leave out a huge piece in the puzzle of life. If I have children, they will be well educated in science and evolution before they are able to multiply. When they ask me a question about the world, I won’t copout by saying “because god made it that way,” I will give my child the true scientific explanation. Of course at first it will be a simplified explanation but it will lay the foundation in their mind for how the world works. I wish I had been raised this way. I would be so much more knowledgeable and intelligent, because I would understand the world and where I fit into it. I will never, ever force my own beliefs about the origin of life or the afterlife on my children. I will educate them in all beliefs and ideas, not just the popular ones of the day.

What do you think about my post? Were you taught evolution and science from an early age? Do you think a statement mentioning creationism as an alternate explanation to evolution should be included in science textbooks? I want to know. So please comment.

RETARDATION AND GOD

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 01:37:16 GMT

Thank you to the two fellows that commented on my last post. I really didn’t think anyone would read it or comment. It is nice to know people are listening. I think it’s funny that I typed several paragraphs and your comments basically only responded to half of one sentence. I think I should clarify my statement so you don’t think I’ve become a complete atheist. Though, I do respect and admire atheists.

I was half-joking when I said retardation is evidence that there is no god. I was half serious in that I think retardation is evidence against god. However, this is not necessarily what I believe. From a Christian perspective, I agree with Gregg. Retards are like children. They have souls (something I questioned) and they have a free pass into heaven because of their innocence. What do I think? I think it’s sad. I think to dismiss their suffering on earth as trivial because they get a free ticket into heaven is insensitive and uncaring. I don’t think we should let retards’ situations ruin our lives, but a tear once in a while would be nice.

So, what am I saying? Retardation is evidence there is no god, but it does not prove he doesn’t exist. It is impossible to prove that god does not exist and that is a fact. That doesn’t prove he does exist either.

I added the statement about retardation and god because earlier that day I had seen a handicapped woman on campus. At first I felt sorry for her. Then I got angry. This is not unusual for me. I get angry at god all the time, but that’s not the point. The point is people are suffering and god allows it. More than allows, god wanted children to be molested and women to be raped. I say this because along with god is the idea that he has a plan for our lives. If he has a plan, then everything that happens is included. This means he designed this world to be full of evil. For whatever reason, god wants children to be molested. Isn’t that sick? Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter how messed up god is, if he exists we have to deal with it. That’s where I am. I’m pissed off. The world’s a mess and god allows it.

The point was made that maybe retarded people are here to teach a lesson. Think about that. You’re saying another human being only exists so you can learn a life lesson. That’s a bit egotistical, don’t you think? I know you didn’t create this idea but you still said it. It’s hateful and it puts your worth higher than another persons’. Doesn’t that violate your Christian principles?

You said suffering doesn’t disprove god. I agree. But it does show that if god exists, he is not the loving, forgiving deity he claims to be. Yeah, I know it is all part of his plan. Well, he didn’t ask me if I liked his plan so I’d rather be left out of it.

Worship and entertainment: In my humble opinion, everything we do that is not absolutely necessary for our survival on this earth is entertainment with few exceptions. Worship is not an exception. My wolfy friend said there is a difference between entertainment and meaning. How are they different? Just because praising god fulfills you doesn’t mean it doesn’t entertain you. You enjoy doing it and you don’t have to, to survive. Yeah, it gives you meaning, so what? Artists’ probably find meaning and purpose in their art. Is it still entertaining? I think so. Solitaire defines me and makes me feel whole, but it is still entertainment. I agree finding purpose is a life-long joy, and it entertains you while you’re here.

You commented that worship is more than church services. You said it is a lifestyle. That’s great. That’s your opinion. If doing your homework makes you feel like your praising god, then go with that. I can’t tell you you’re wrong because it is none of my business if you think smiling at strangers is worshipping god. I think killing racists and rapists is worshipping god. It has nothing to do with my comment.

I hope I wasn’t too harsh with my comments. I don’t want you to stop commenting. I hope you comment on this post and criticize the crap out of it. You made some really good points and I probably shouldn’t have made the comment about retards without explaining myself. But doesn’t it make you ask why when you see a retarded or handicapped person?

LATE NIGHT RED LIGHTS

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 19:33:01 GMT

I don’t like the idea having a journal online, but these blogs aren’t really journals. They’re more like messages in bottles. We write our thoughts and throw them into the ocean with the hope of someone reading them and caring. These aren’t journals, because journals are private and we want our thoughts heard. That is the mind-set I’m writing with. I want you to hear my thoughts and tell me what you think. Do you agree? Do you think I’m a disgusting liberal extremist? I want to know. I would prefer useful information rather than rash, angry comments about how stupid or gay I am. If you don’t agree with me, tell me why. Maybe, my logic is flawed. Maybe, you can help me see the truth. Maybe, you can save me. But, if angry comments are all you can produce, I’d love to hear them. At least I know I’m being heard by someone.

If you read this and know me in the real world, I don’t want you tracking me down and inarticulately screaming at me because you can’t believe I feel this way. If you know me, leave a comment. Don’t approach me in the real world because of some idea I wrote about. I probably don’t like you and don’t want to talk to you. Even if you like my idea, I still don’t want to talk to you. If you think you will die if you don’t confront me, die. Unfortunately, I know you won’t respect my wishes. So, when you do approach me, speak rationally and intelligently. I won’t argue with you.

Last night, while I was driving my lady home, I stopped at a red-light on post. I have waited at this light for what have seemed like hours before. So, I looked both ways and drove through. I dropped her off and headed home. This same light was red on the way home. I stopped looked both ways and cruised through. A few seconds later I saw the flashing lights in my rear-view. I was ticketed sixty dollars for running a red light with no one around, or so I thought. That is a rather low fee in comparison to my previous tickets.

How do you feel about this situation? Is it right to punish a citizen safely exercising his own logic. I hurt no one. If she hadn’t seen me, no one would have known or cared. But she did see me. My first thought was how much bull the situation was. However, after thinking a bit, I realized the cop was not to blame. She was just doing her job. She didn’t make the law, her job just happens to be enforcing it. This is best case scenario. In all probability she is an angry dike, who feels powerful telling men what to do and punishing them every chance she gets. Anyway, I want to assume she’s just doing her job.

Maybe, as a citizen I should propose legislation be considered which would allow citizens to treat a red light as a stop sign when it is late and no one is around. This would make driving at night much less stressful, but would it make night driving more dangerous? If it was legal to run red lights when alone at night, people would take advantage of this. If we stopped at all we would glance to our left and right and take off. Accidents would happen. People would die because I was irritated at having to stop for a red light at night. To save lives, I think we should endure the lights. I don’t like it, but it seems to be for the best.

There is more to this than safety. This is also about executive muscle being flexed. If we are allowed to run red lights at night, what’s next? It seems logical not to wait for the light to turn green when no one is around. Unfortunately, logic changes with perspective. It may seem logical or right for a husband to murder his cheating wife. She broke her commitment. She said she would be faithful and she wasn’t. In his mind that may be worthy of death. Obviously, we can’t have angry husbands killing their wives. I don’t want to discuss all the reason why right now. The point is, if some crimes are allowed to slide, where do we draw the line? It’s not difficult to see total societal collapse and chaos because I didn’t want to wait a few seconds at a red light. What do you think? Do you agree?

This is not a good representation of what I will usually be writing about. This was very positive and I am not. I chose writing about traffic violations over retardation being evidence that there is no god. That is what you have to look forward to.

INTRO/ MOODS ARE DECEIVING

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 05:00:42 GMT

When I created this, my intention was not to ramble on about my problems and tell the world how cool I think my life is. I actually only registered an account to be able to read a few of my friends’. But, lately I’ve felt like I need to express myself. I have a journal, that’s right, paper and pencil. I’m a caveman. I love writing in this fashion but I'm intrigued by the thought that someone may someday read my thoughts. Even so, I will not post the most intimate details of my life. So, if you’re looking for sex stories or narcotics experiences, you’ve found the wrong page. Everything I write about will be meant for reading. You’re not getting a peek into some secret part of my being that I try to hide. Sorry. In fact, most things I write will probably either be written with the hope of being read by specific individuals or ideas I think may interest the average-xanga-joe.

Having said that, I also want to make known that I’m not planning on using this to keep the world up-to-date with my day-to-day activities. I want this to be a means mainly of transporting ideas to the general population of surfers. I want to communicate things I think might not be common knowledge, things that I think people need to know to be whole human beings, things I hope will expand minds and melt stereotypes and preconceived illusions about everything. I know this is farfetched. But I’m mainly writing for myself anyway. I know there will be some long speeches when I’m upset and need to vent but I want to keep the emo-crud to a minimum.

Moods are deceiving.

When I’m in a bad mood, everything is clear. I know exactly how horrible the world is and how there is no way to fix. In a bad mood, life is a lost cause. In a bad mood giving up is the only solution. But what’s cool about bad moods is how easy they are to end if you know how. Fairly analyzing a situation is one way I’ve found to end a dark mood.

For example, and this is completely hypothetical of course, but let’s say I’ve been seeing a girl for awhile and I’m really starting to like her a lot. Tonight, I call her because we talked about seeing a movie. Well, she seems to have forgotten about but tries to play it off like she didn’t. So, I’m annoyed. We stay on the phone and she talks while I fake a conversation and mope while listening to Elliott Smith. Obviously, trying to talk to me at this point is only going to worsen the situation, but I stay on. Eventually, she senses my lack of attention and makes up a reason to hang up. She says she’ll call back later. And she does, but she calls as she is paying for a couple of rental movies. So, then she gets in her truck and tells me she’ll talk to me later because she can’t drive and talk at the same time because she has a stick, which is true although she does have a earpiece she could use if she wanted to. She said she might call tomorrow or I could, screw that I’m not calling for at least a day. So, I’m thinking about what just went on. She forgot our plan to see a movie. She made an excuse about why she couldn’t talk anymore, then, to make it seem like she wants to talk to me she told me she’ll call back later. When she calls back, she calls at a time where she has an easy reason not to talk for long. This really stressed me out. First, I thought she doesn’t like me. I’ll end it. Then I started to think about why she doesn’t like me. Now I hate myself. From there it’s pretty easy to think the entire world is a piece of crap and I don’t want to live in it anymore. So, I’m contemplating suicide because some girl I’ve been seeing a few weeks doesn’t want to talk to me. This is all hypothetical of course.

In a bad mood like that it’s easy to listen to sad music, sulk about my problems and pick the world apart. But, once I start to fairly analyze the situation a little more closely, things don’t seem quite so dark. This girl I’m seeing is very smart. I love that about her but I’m not going to get off the subject. Anyway, she probably realized it wasn’t any use to talk to me tonight because something was wrong. She probably didn’t think she did anything wrong, which she didn’t, and thought I'm either tired or maybe just preoccupied. She didn’t want to waste her evening trying to have a conversation with me when it’s obviously not possible. She didn’t want me to think I did something wrong and maybe she wanted to see if I’d be in a better mood a little later so she said she’d call back. When she did, and I wasn’t in a better mood, she made up an excuse to hang up. It’s completely understandable. Although, I would prefer honesty. Again this is all hypothetical.

The point is logically thinking about circumstances can help improve one’s mood. It’s true this doesn’t help every mood. If you’re about to be executed for murder, logically analyzing your situation may not help. But it did take me from thinking about breaking up with a great girl and killing myself to realizing that I blew everything out of proportion.

There is more to be said on the subject of blinding moods, I’ll continue another time. I think I like this xanga-thing. I’ll try not to get too preachy, but it is my right if I choose to exercise it.

…life’s like an hourglass glued to the table.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 20:15:31 GMT

Whoa. So I guess this is my xanga. I guess I'll have to add this place to my favs. If i dont' Ill never find my way back.